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mikeparker77
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Name: michael
Metro: Corinth
Birthday: 11/19/1977
Gender: Male
Expertise: Due the narrow field the occupation section holds I thought I would elaborate on my job title. I am a teacher, policeman, firefighter, doctor, lawyer, investor, investigator, student, father, husband, mechanic, electrician, transportation specialist, carpentar........ That is all that would come to mind but to you, you can call me friend; because that wasn't a listing.
Occupation: Other
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/25/2005
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| I want to first say thanks to Hilary for getting me to thinking about this. THANKS
1. What do you say to tell you kids or others to be quiet?
I say hush or be quiet although I used to not be that nice worded. Shut up or something in that neighborhood
was what I used to say.
2. What words come out when you hit your finger with a hammer?
Sugar foot, OOOOUUUUUCCCCHHH, oh booger, WWWWOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOO that hurt,
stinky poo gas, Um that's gonna leave a mark, and my favorite OH SNOT ROCKETS. I know none make
any since but it is what I say.
3. What do you say when you break/broke something on accident?
Oh snot rockets, or in a very sarcastic tone and gesture I don't guess I needed that anyway or something to that effect.
One thing to remember, If you have children they WILL repeat what they hear. If they hear foul words they will use foul words, if they hear creative words they will create their own words or use yours. I remember reading something in an office about the language we use shows the creative ability we have in the spur of the moment instead of the slang 4 letter stuff we hear or maybe even have said. Our speech and life should be about creativity and not what the general public says. If the public says to jump off the bed head first you would be conforming, if you use what God gave you (a brain) you will land on your feet not your head.
Thank for reading my rant and please post your comments especially for the 1-3 questions.
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| I found these on a website last night. After I started reading them I
thought of Carolyn. So these are for her and others that like Chuck
lines.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had
gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its
neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the
first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and
includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets
the information he wants.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck
could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW
DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her
throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he
bellowed, "Don't f*&k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he
realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone
within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot
broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia
Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor
if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been
known to last for up to 15 days.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every
second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris
smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7
different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing
for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb
on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It
was more "humane".
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
Chuck Norris never misspells a word. If he does, he simply changes
the spelling.
15 More Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles".
Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris
instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly
thereafter he grew a beard.
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop
the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets
with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise,"
and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth
from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was
far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the
gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other
Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their
combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly
after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"
8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He
also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo
meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".
10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is
injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt
to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving,
Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard.
He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and
when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came
with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he
gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours.
If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my
virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to
put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his"
way.
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| Everything is good around the Parker house. John is 3 and Mary turned 2 last month. I am adding a picture from around July 4. My sister-in-law took it in front of my father-in-law's house. Another thing too, my dad has surrendered to the ministry. He is still trying to find out what God wants but he know he is suppose to be a preacher of some capacity. He will be preaching his first sermon Sunday so please remember him when you pray. A quick question about this, does all those sermons he gave me count as his first or does this one? Just something to ponder.
  
Sorry about taking so long to get NEW pics up. Procrastination is a bad thing for me.
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| Thats right Hope and I finally got high speed internet. Its was great because I can get twice a much search/work/play done in half or less time. The sad part is my computer is sick and can't handle the speed because it speed up the critters work. With dial up I had a 26.4k connection and now a 100m. After about a day the thing started slowing down and I have done everything I can think of to fix it without sending it to a repair man for several days. I do have moments where the thing does well then BLAHBLAHBLAH......and so on and so forth. I run XPsp2 and 256 on memory and celeron processor. Hope bought it Christmas before she and I got married in April. Any suggestion on who or where to send it or how to finish it off. Remington 870 12ga. with 3in. slug sounding better every time I sit down to mess with it. To explain the critters, I bought a antivirus/antispy thing and it said I had a bunch of stuff. It did say that it has take care of a lot of it but things still pop up and say something about a worm, trogan, spyware, and other things like that. Any help or suggestions would be accepted and appreciated. thanks | | |
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